What was it like to be married to Mark Hofmann? Were there deceptions while they were married? What was it like to be gaslighted by Mark? Dorie Olds answers those questions.
Dorie: Gaslighting is where, in the movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman and I can’t remember Charles Boyer, maybe? Charles Boyer had a plan. He had murdered Ingrid Bergman’s aunt, the character that she played. And then he was after some jewels and so he courted this woman purposely with an agenda and then he kept doing things to make her think she was crazy, to make her think that she wasn’t seeing things straight to really confuse her. And that’s what I feel like was happening with me. with Mark. On the surface it looked like certain things were happening. But underneath, I was definitely being played with and I wasn’t conscious enough initially to know. It’s like, what is wrong with me? What’s going on? Why ain’t I remembering correctly? Why aren’t I? I made it about me, and not that he was doing something to me.
He would tell his parents “Dorie made me do it,” and I didn’t know this was happening. And then I would tell something. Well, his parents say, “Well how about this and this,” and I would tell something and then Mark, later we would be by ourselves with stuff and he’d get really angry. I’d be really in trouble. He’d be yelling at me and then it was like, “Well what did I do?”
I just told the truth. Well that was the problem. Because see? He told his parents, he was already telling other people different stories, and then I would come in. I wouldn’t be prepped. I wouldn’t be told, “This is the story I’ve told because I don’t want to tell the truth about what we did. I want to make it your fault,” which is what he was doing the whole time. And so I would tell something and I wouldn’t be believed. Or it’s like I was living in this double world. Like what is going on here? Like being in Alice in Wonderland. What’s going on? I’m telling the truth. I just told him a story. Why is it that I’m in trouble? Why is it that people are mad at me? Why is it that there was this whole thing going on? It’s like what is happening?
So, I think a year after I was married, I think I got more used to it, but not totally understanding it. It wasn’t until later. It’s like, no wonder I felt crazy because I felt crazy being told these things. And people would call on the phone and they’d yell at me. “Well is Mark there?”
“Well na-na-na-na-na-na-na.” I mean, I’d get the brunt of all this anger because they’re mad at him.
And then I’d say, “Well, you need to call this person because they’re mad.”
“Oh no, they’re not mad at me. They were fine.”
Check out our conversation…..
If you’re interested in other interviews about the Hofmann bombings and forgeries, check out our interviews with Mark’s friend and co-worker, Shannon Flynn!