From Mission Farewell to Leaving the Faith (Jeff Strong 3 of 4)

Author Jeff Strong details the “tectonic plate shifting moment” when his son, while serving in the Missionary Training Center (MTC), suddenly wrote him about leaving the faith: both his mission and the LDS Church. At the time, Strong was serving as a Bishop. He admits that he and his wife initially handled the situation poorly by assuming their son had committed a serious sin. This personal crisis spurred Strong to conduct extensive research into disaffiliation, including qualitative work in 40 cities across 20 countries to understand the real reasons people step away from faith.

Don’t miss our other conversations Jeff: https://gospeltangents.com/people/jeff-strong

Gospel Tangents

Leaving the Faith

Strong challenges the “lazy learner” stereotype, revealing that faith transitions are often deeply serious, intentional, and painful processes. Research cited by Strong shows that 49% of individuals experiencing a faith transition spend more hours than they can count over five or more years researching their decision, often likening the experience to the “death of a loved one.” Strong describes his family’s initial communication as “cavemen grunting at each other” because they were “talking under the influence” of intense fear, anger, and anxiety.

To help other families avoid these “unwise mistakes,” Strong provides several key insights:

Examine Your Motives: Parents often feel anger not because of the child’s choices, but because those choices threaten the parent’s own need for social validation and the “perfect family” image.
Avoid “Talking Under the Influence”: High-stakes conversations should not happen when the amygdala is firing; parents must step back to ensure they are motivated by love rather than a desire to control.
Understand the Data: While conversations with siblings and friends typically go well, talking to Church leaders is four and a half times more likely to go badly, and talking to devout parents is twice as likely to result in a negative outcome.

Strong concludes that by being informed and rejecting false stereotypes, families can move toward “healthy trust-building conversations” and maintain strong relationships even when religious paths diverge.

00:00 Son Left His Mission & Church
4:29 Jeff Helped LDS Church Research Disbelief
5:57 Don’t Assume Sin
9:10 How to Handle Faith Journeys Better

Don’t miss our other conversations Jeff: https://gospeltangents.com/people/jeff-strong

Gospel Tangents

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